Ah the dreaded, feared and enigmatic Friend Zone. That vast expanse beyond the outer rim of the relationship universe. A place where many men have witnessed their self esteem, self respect and masculinity vanish into the void without a trace.
To men, The Friend Zone might as well be the title of the most horrifying science fiction movie...Ever! Horrifying because it's real life and most guys don't know they're in the Friend Zone until it is too late. Only when he tries to make his move to amp up the sexual tension does he realize that there is none to be had! It's gone! I mean "distant eagle cry and tumble weed" gone.
Don't think for a moment that The Friend Zone is the exclusive domain of the shy, insecure "nice guys" trying to date or start a relationship. Hell n...
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward.
That’s how winning is done!
Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth.
But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!"
In this Mojo Minute Video Blog I answer a question many guys are dealing with.
It is a very common challenge. A lot of guys do this. They think that by putting 100% into the relationship and letting go of the things that he enjoys that she somehow thinks this is noble and right.
You'd be wrong. Sure she loves the attention and the commitment you are making to the relationship but she's not wanting you to sacrifice your manliness that attracted you to her in the first place!
She wants to go out with her friends and for a lot of women this is a "Non Negotiable" item. It's important to her!
Yet this brings up all kinds insecurities within him. He does not have enough inner strength and created enough trust with his authentic masculine power that he becomes jealous every time she goes out.
Imagine if you will that you are three days into a nasty cold. You can't breathe, you're coughing up a lung and you've gone through a gallon of nasal spray. Yeah, you've got a "Man Cold"(Cue the violins).
However, as you are stuck in bed you have to call your prospects and clients that you will not be able to meet with them or move the projects forward until you feel better. Hey it sounds pretty reasonable right? I mean you are doing the right thing and not doing the contagion thing everywhere!
However, as you are languishing in bed with your sickly self, a prospect decides to go with another provider, your buddy gives the game tickets to another friend and your girl is getting tired of listening to your whining and can't stand the "little boy" you've become.
"You'll never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice." - Bob Marley
When I read this quote from Bob Marley…it brought up all kinds of emotions and feelings.
I found myself reflecting back on all the trials and challenges I had in getting my business and ventures moving forward.
There were many times when I felt that the vast comfort and wisdom of the Universe (God) had just up and left me. I felt abandoned by those that I needed in my court. Yet in hind-site I always found the strength to persevere and make it happen in spite of my circumstance.
However, when I was in it…I was nothing close to being centered, accepting and digging in to my inner power. I admit I felt scared, alone and lost many times.
In fact, my current vision and passion is so epic that it scares...
So another round of layoffs hits and you find yourself and your team are next on the chopping block. The package is fair but far from enough given the circumstances you now find yourself in.
Reality hits in and you realize the market is not actually clamouring for your particular set of skills or expertise. In fact, guys like you are a dime a dozen in a market that's not hiring.
You've put five, ten, fifteen years or more into your career. The company was good to you, you enjoyed your work and the culture was one you felt at home in. Outside of your intimate relationships, your career defined who you were in a big way.
I can relate. Several years ago I had created a business from the ground up with a tremendous amount of enthusiasm and excitement. We were about to take the world by s...