It's happened more that once. It will happen again and if it hasn't happened to you...it will!
Yeah...there's not a situation in life that brings more fear, shame and self emasculating feelings in man than that of Male Sexual Disfunction.
In today's relationship landscape more and more men are dealing with sexual disfunction than ever before. The male mojo is being decimated at epidemic levels!
In 2010 The worldwide incidence of erectile dysfunction was estimated at over 152 million men, with a forecast of 322 million men by the year 2025. A European study in Vienna of 2,869 men between the ages of 20 and 80 found 32% of their sample have some level of erectile dysfunction.
A Canadian study of 3,921 men between the ages of 40 and 88 found that 49.4% of men sampled have some level of erectile dysfunction.
An Australian study of adult males in 2002 indicates that 39% reports some degree of erectile dysfunction and 18.6% experience severe erectile dysfunction.
However, these statistics are dated. A lot has changed and the stats are needing to be readjusted. I mean how many men are actually going on record with thier performance issues? Not many I can tell you that.
It is estimated that almost 60% of the adult male population today is having some kind of sexual disfunction issue and it is only getting worse! And don't think for a moment that this is an old man's issue!
Hell no! Men in their mid 20's are experiencing an alarming spike in sexual disfunction. This was unheard of just a few years ago!
So many men, myself included, have had moments where there is a disconnect from the thrill of flirting and the expectation of great passionate sex only to have one's Johnson not get the message.
The scenario is most likely to happen in new relationships, when sex with a new lover is imminent. However, ED is rampant in long term relationships too.
The truth is, you know he's not working long before the clothes are removed. So you try to prolong the flirting. You kiss, caress and do all the things you can to get her on fire. But you are not really present to the moment are you? No!...You're too busy in your head! You're scared! You're freaking out inside. "C'mon Buddy Move damn it!"
Perhaps you try to deflect the attention and eagerly focus on pleasuring her. All the while hoping like hell he'll wake up in time for the magic moment. But no! The animal desire ramps up and she can't take it any more! She needs you now!
It's too soon! You're not ready! He's not ready! Damn!
Now that moment of truth! She knows somethings wrong. She's thinking, Why is he not inside me yet? Then it happens - She finally sees the bane of your present reality. There you are...humble, defeated and now comes the moment where you actually have to sheepishly use the infamous line of..."I don't know what's happening! It's never happened before!"
She'd be all, "Oh that's okay Sweetie. We can...(put kind and pacifying statement here)."
In truth she's let down and now a smouldering sexy mess of hotness that you could not satisfy the way you wanted to.
There's no doubt your oral and digit skills are well honed, but that's not the glory of the main event you both were longing for.
Yuck! Now she has to switch gears to perform an emergency ego-ectomy on you to help salvage your self-emasculated pride so that you both can at least enjoy the rest your time together.
Nothing she can say now will make things right either. The ego and manly essence of who you are has just taken the biggest hit and now you are all up in your head all night wondering why it happened and what she thinks of you. Knowing full well you did not get high on her "Studly Wow!" list.
Brothers, this scenario is happening all the time. Men are way too much in their heads these days about their sexual performance.
As well, a lot of men are dealing with testosterone counts that are way too low, unrealistic porn or pop culture scenarios to measure up to and you're also stressing way too much about if he'll perform or not and it's killing the vibe.
So I'm going to talk about something that is in contrast to all the pills, potions and remedies to this troubling and pervasive issue that most of the internet is filled with.
Instead, just like I tell my clients, this is how to deal with "it" in the moment so you can restore a modicum of dignity, masculinity and presence with her.
Listen, at some point it's going to happen. So rather than coming up with stupid excuses, and lying to help save your ego and your reputation... Be honest with her before sex even comes into play.
Long before the hot kissing and heavy petting, admit to her the very thing you are afraid of. Whoa! Yes, you heard that right.
You can tell her that due to stress at work, your health or testosterone levels and/or bad diet, you have been having some issues with your sex drive of late.
Yes, it is a courageous and bold move but it his takes a lot of pressure off you and helps you both manage expectations. This also takes away the burden away from her wondering if you are attracted to her or not being turned on by her.
If you go into the act of sex as a team effort there's no surprises. Talk openly about your fantasies and desires. Get really comfortable with each other's sexual values and boundaries long before "the moment".
Its better to be upfront about it than back pedal in the moment of truth. Sure there are some women that will balk and not be very sympathetic to what you are going through. Why would you want to be with her? You're better than that!
However, most women are very understanding and willing to help.
Yes, you can get a wonder pill or other products to help boost your sex drive. However, I'm not a fan of drugs as they just address the symptom not the problem.
You also have to be careful that they do not take over your ability to get an erection on your own.
Just a couple of closing thoughts to help you with your mojo.
A great test for guys to see if there is a low testosterone count is to see how many days of the week you wake up with "morning wood". If you notice it 4 out of 7 days — you are doing pretty good. If it is 2 or less — chances are there may be an issue worthy of looking into.
Contrary to popular belief, meat is not your friend. What!? It's true! The manly diet of carnivore happiness is actually doing more harm to your libido than good! Whoa! Do your homework! Most meats today do not come from the idyllic farm or ranch we imagine it does. Unless it is organic or free range, chances are today's beef, chicken, pork and dairy come from factory farms and feedlots. They have super high levels of estrogen (the female hormone) to help make the live stock grow faster, get fatter and more reproductive for higher yields. This gets to you through the meat and dairy! Not a good thing when testosterone is lacking.
High sugar and sodium diets also reduce testosterone. Most processed and convenience foods are targeted towards men. They are testosterone robbers. Get your greens brothers!
For most men the real problem is the mental game. You're too much in your head (performance anxiety). Meditate, breathe deeply and shed some of the stress you are dealing with.
By being honest and up front about where you are at you take all the mental BS out of the picture.
The reality is, sexual disfunction among men is on the rise (no pun intended) and will continue to be. It will at some point impact your performance. If you are really concerned, by all means see your doctor or specialist.
Just remember, that pill you get may seem like the holy grail to your ED issues but it's not addressing the real problem.
The faster you get to the truth about it with her, the less anxiety you will feel about it. Sometimes the very truth sets you free. It takes the mental game you play in your head away and you relax. It often results in "him" working like a champ.
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The Coach For Men, apply now for your complimentary "Discovery Session" and let's explore what's possible for you.