Is Masculinity Blowing Away?
A decade or two ago this would not even be a topic on the radar. However, something is amiss in the world and you can feel it.
I see it in how men hold themselves as they walk. I can see it when a man attempts to engage and talk to an empowered woman. I notice the stagering and sad relationship statistics.
Men are getting their mojo sucked right out from within them and they don't know it's happening until it's too late. She leaves him, his career nose-dives or he can't understand the malaise he finds himself in.
My coaching practice has ballooned with men that are finding they aren't the men they once were. There was a time that they had game. There was a time they had strength, courage and swagger. Yet within just a few years they find themselves to be a shadow of the man he use to be.
It's a good bet you know exactly what I am talking about. You might be going through this yourself or you know a man that is. It is that pervasive.
So what the hell is going on?
First of all let's get one thing clear. When I refer to masculinity...I am referring to the true essence of a man. Not the egoic-fight-or-flight-douche-bag-masculine.
I know there's a part of society that's quite happy to do away with all aspects of the masculine energy. But that's not a forum for this blog.
This is not just a man's issue. It's impacting women too! Women around the world have taken notice! I hear it all the time. Women are lamenting, "Where have all the "real men" gone?
Women have watched their husbands and boyfriends disolve right in front of them.
Children have not been left uneffected either. The repsect and admiration for dads has diminished over the past few years. Mainly because many dads have stopped showing up as their heroes and role models. Instead they have allowed technology to do the heavy lifting instead of being "all in".
As well, we've allowed pop culture to make Men and dads the big joke and comic releif in pretty much every sitcom or commercial. Dad's are just another big kid for Mom to clean up after. Kids see and hear everything. If they see dad's diminished role on TV or other media channels, they'll act in kind.
What if...what if the challenges men are faced with was actually bigger than we can imagine? What if there was something in the unseen at play? Something that was causing the shift in men to go from who they once were into what they find themselves in today?
What if this same phenomenon was also responsible for the rise in the divine feminine energy women are experiencing?
You can't help but notice that women are very empowered and feeling unstoppable these days.
It's as if men are loosing their masculinity and woman are taking it on!
You could argue that this is just the equality that women have long fought for. Sure, there are many women that are celebrating the power that they now have and feel. You could also say there is still a ways to go yet.
However, as much as equality is fundamental, there has been a tipping of the scales when it comes to relationships. Neither men or women are necessarily happy about how the roles have been blurred.
In truth, these two worlds are coliding...and not in a good way.
So buckle up! I am going to tell you about a theory I have. A theory as to why the masculinty in men seems to be blowing away. I will also tell you how to regain your authentic masucline power to truly move forward powerfully as a man in the midths of the divine feminine.
Quantum science, the new science and spiritual masters see masculine and feminine energy differently than how you and I were lead to believe. You wouldn't be alone if you thought masculine and feminine energy were associated to male and female, men and women respecively.
In nature, as in all the Universe...feminine energy is the creative force in all things.
When we align with this truth (especially men) and disconnect the gender attachment...we can move into a deeper alignment with what this energy is and who and what we are.
Our part of the Universe ocilates through waves of energy or cycles. One such cycle its called The Grand Cycle. It causes our little blue planet to ocilates between waves of masculine and feminine energy. Theses waves are about 13,000 years in duration. Coincidentally, we just completed the final phase of transitioning from the masculine freaquency to the feminine frequency.
We are now in the age of Universal Consciousness - a wholly feminine vibration.
What does this mean?
The masculine frequnecy was the dominiant and controlling energy on the planet for the last few thousand years. It manifested itself as men asurping their power, created religions to justify control and flexing thier dominion on every aspect of life.
Conversly, the feminine energy was surpressed, denied and outlawed in many societies. The masucline frequency was very ego based, reactionary and intolerant.
That cycle ended between 2000 and 2012...however, it did not happen over night. It took about a 100 years for the transition to be complete.
Each increasing wave of feminine energy was a catalyst for some very monumental events in our history to occur. I call it, The 5th Wave Theory.
The First Wave - Women were waking up to a reality they did not like. An imbalance that needed to be changed. The suffragist movement was formed all around the western world. Women fought and won the right to vote. Conversely, the masculine energy reacts to this wave and has to counter it. So as men we had to go blow stuff up...enter WWI. The war to end all wars. There was also a mass exodus of the male population as casualties mounted.
The Second Wave - came and women worked the factories (and production increased 23 percent) And the "career girl" was born. The masculine had to react and go blow more stuff up again...enter WWII. Again a mass exodus of the male population and with them the masculine energy.
The Third Wave - came in the late 50's and into the 60's where the woman's liberation movement was born...the feminine energy wave was so strong that men began to blur the lines of masculine and feminine and the hippy movement arrived. Long hair, peace, love and "stick it to the man" was the theme. The civil rights movement also was growing strength. The Masculine represented order and control and had to respond....blow more stuff up...enter the cold war and the arms race. Fear became a very powerful tool for the masculine. Viet Nam and other wars had to be created. And again more men left that planet.
The Forth Wave - was not too long ago in 1996 everything changed for women...the internet was now completely global and women used it to unite, connect and build community on a scale never before seen. What did men do? We used the internet to close off, to isolate and to disconnect. Porn, sports, gaming, poker and mind numbing distractions that most men can attest to being a slave to at some point.
The Fifth Wave - is upon us now and for the first time in thousands of years the feminine energy has eclipsed the masculine.
Unwittenly, this energy is causing men to become disconnected from their identity. They are more frustrated and challenged as to what it means to be a man than ever before. Add to that many men do not know how to show up in relationships. Our young men are sadly misinformed as to what being a gentleman means.
On the other hand women are feeling a power that has them feeling unstoppable, connected and alive. You can not deny this is happening. You have seen it. You have experienced it. Perhaps you are with or know of a strong empowered woman now.
This vibrational shift to the feminine is reeking havoc on relationships. Women are in the drivers seat in most unions because relationships embody the feminine energies of connection, nurturing and love. The masculine is about being the protector, the provider and stability.
However, today all of these masculine traits are handled quite handily by women. In fact, in this new era of feminine energy, woman are also taking on masculine energies to be more high-functioning in this world as the business world is still a masculine energy. So women have to take on this vibration to be successful and achieve their goals and dreams. This too is causing men to feel "less than" their partners or potential mates. Our roles as men have been diminished. Our sense of "utility" in the relationship is now an option.
The harsh reality for most men is that 73% of all breakups are initiated by the woman. If you are a man..how's that landing for you? Most men are left wondering, what the hell happened?
Thankfully, there is a remedy for men in this rapidly changing time. A ray of light that will help men adjust to embrace this feminine energy while still owning the essence of what makes him a man.
It is a shift from the egoic masculine to the authentic masculine. The egoic masculine is what keeps a man fearful, reactionairy and keeps a man tied to an old paradigm of what a man is all about. The ego is in control and It keeps a man weak. It keeps a man from learning and growing.
The egoic masculine can also cause a man to become a needy "Yes-man" to the stronger feminine energies. His ego could also cause him to feel trapped, insecure, and unable to communicate his challenges in a healthy way. He may over compensate into into the egoic masculine where the outlet becomes anger, rage and sometimes violence.
He could also take on feminine energy. Yikes!
Relax! it's a good thing if you do this in moderation. However many men are taking it too far to where it does not serve him.
Yes, it's a catch-22. Many men are are moving way too far into their feminine energy due to societal and pop culture pressures.
We think that’s what we’re suppose to do and that’s what women want. The sensitive new-age guy or SNAG is the new bench mark.
In truth, that special man that is in touch with his feelings, listens well and “gets her” is only great for a short while. He gets old real fast. If he does not show up in his authentic masculine power once in awhile he's going to become a relationship statistic fast!
Yes, as much as the feminine energy is upon us, the kinder gentler man seems to fit with this picture of what the world needs. However, I argue that it is still incumbent upon men to own their authentic masculine now. In fact, I think it is critical that we do.
So how can a man dig in to his authentic masculine power in this place and time?
First, look in to your own your values and boundaries, own your inner strength, and understand the energies that are flowing through you. Are you feeling your power or do you feel needy, anxious and uncertain?
As a man you are going to be tested more than you have ever been tested in your life. You must pass these tests if you ever hope to be a Remarkable Man in your world.
The tests will be whether you have what it takes to be a Remarkable Man. The tests will come from the women in your world - can you stand in the fire to show her what you are made of?
The tests will come from your career or business world - will you stand up and have the courage to take massive action? Will you step boldly into your purpose and passion?
The tests will come from your children - are you man enough to guide them and be the example of what a true father and hero is in their life?
The tests will also come from your fellow brothers -will you drop the ego and the need for competition as your bench mark for what success is to you? Will you have the courage to unclench your fist and open your hand to him?
Yes, there is lots to ponder. It will take a Remarkable Man to truly answer all of these tests. However, the biggest challenge men face right now is that too may men are quitting on themselves and those they care about too easily.
The challenge is in the follow through. We men do not have a great track record for following through on the visions we have for our life. Women are kicking our asses in this area!
So the big question I have for you is: What does being a Remarkable Man mean to you? Get clear on this image. What kind of man would you be if you were a Remarkable Man? Envision him now in every detail. What life would you be living? How do you hold yourself? How do you breathe? How do you walk? What clothes would you wear? What would your relationships look like? Get crystal clear on what he looks and acts like.
To help you own more of your authentic masculine power and to help you deepen in to what a Remarkable Man can feel like for you...here are a few suggestions that will help you step in to your bigness.
Breath deep - Breath on purpose and deep into your solar plexus. We have been conditioned to be shallow breathers. Oxygenating the body brings confidence and a feeling of well being. Your mojo can really get fired up with just 5 minutes of deep conscious breathing. Here’s the breathing cycle: inhale through the nose for 5-10 seconds, but feel your stomach inflate not your chest. Then hold for 5-10 seconds and then exhale through the mouth for 5-10 seconds. When you get to the bottom of your exhale...do 1-2 quick bursts of air to push out what’s left. Then start the cycle over again. With each cycle try to increase the number of seconds. After about 5 minutes of this I can now do a two minute cycle and the effects are profound.
Be decisive - As men we need to really start making more decisions and being self assured that they are the right ones. Wishy washy and on the fence thinking gets you no where. We’ve allowed a lazy-ass mentality into the world of men. We’ve given our power away so much that we’ve made women the main decision maker. She’s tired of it. She so want you to take back your power. That’s what she’s longing for!
Know your values and boundaries - What makes you tick? In other words, what behaviors makes you feel amazing and which ones piss you off. Get really clear with these and then tell people in your life. Where ever you feel resentment, it will point to exactly where you have not expressed your values and boundaries. A Remarkable Man is very clear on who and what he is. Every one in his life also knows what he’s all about.
Honor the divine feminine - As men we must take the brave/bold step to really understand how the feminine energy works. We need to get to a place where we “get it”. It’s not that scary place that threatens your manhood. In fact, learning about how the feminine energy works will make you more of a man than you can imagine. It will pay huge dividends in your life to understand it’s functionality within you and how the feminine operates in the women in your life. You are here to represent the authentic masculine in men, but to truly own it, you must learn about the divine feminine. When you do, your masculine energy will allow the feminine in her to truly radiate. This understanding is a must for men in these rapidly changing times.
Be proud of being a man - Get your ass off the couch, get your body in optimum health and for God’s sake take some pride in your appearance. A Remarkable Man must step up and play a bigger game. How many times have you seen a couple in a restaurant, she’s all dolled up and he looks like he just came from the ball diamond? It does not take a lot of effort to look and feel Remarkable. We need to return to a place where men had pride in how they looked. Get clothes the fit and flatter your body type. With that, have more respect for your body and be mindful of what you feed it and put in it. If you smoke...quit!
I may have baked your noodle with my 5th Wave Theory, but regardless of what you think and believe, you can't ignore the fact that there is something big happening between men and women. If you think it is a challenge now, I predict you have not seen anything yet.
In the mean time I want to challenge you to take resposibility for your life. I want to encourage you to do what it takes to harness the authentic masculine power within you. To know that the divine feminine energy is here to stay and it must be honoured and respected. But never at the expense of your dignitiy and the amazing man you are.
My brothers, we are at the dawn of an awakening within ourselves. With all that is wrong in the world, authentic masuline men are the solution. The women in your world want you to take charge and do what's right.
We have to believe that there is a new paradigm for what is possible for men.
To quote the catch phrase from the original Star Trek, “To boldly go where no man has gone before.” Except in this case, the epic journey and the bold responsibility is not out there in the stars...it is right here within us all.
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Dwayne H. Klassen is The Mojo Coach for men with The Remarkable Man Coaching Program and The Founder of The Remarkable Man Project.