We are half way through The Biggest Outdoor Show On Earth. Also known as the Calgary Stampede. For those of you that have never heard of it or have never experienced it...it is truly something to behold.
When I was a newbie to the Stampede many years ago, I thought it would be just like any other annual civic event. You know...an area of the city that has a dedicated fairground and event area where the festival takes place. Boy was I wrong!
Calgary...and I mean the whole city of over a million...turns into a ten-day party of celebration, excess and hedonism all wrapped up in a country and western theme.
Sure there's the world's largest rodeo and the city does a great job in promoting it as a family friendly event, but if you've been here you soon realise that the real event(s) are what happens at the clubs, corporate parties and event tents all around the city.
The city literally bust loose for a foot-stomp'n-rock'n-country good time in every corner of the city.
The Calgary Stampede also has a rather sexy dark side. During the ten day blow-out there are more affairs, breakups and hookups than you can imagine. Calgary also sees a sharp spike in the divorce rate in the weeks that follow.
There are many reasons for the spike in sexual energy during Stampede. The most common are alcohol consumption, a daring and sexy dress code (good god it's deliciousy dangerous) and relationships that are on shaky ground to begin with.
Interestingly enough, men are not always leading the charge to flirt and play around. The ladies are often the lead in initiating and advancing the playfulness.
As "The Coach For Men" and relationship expert, I have a different perspective as to why The Calgary Stampede is a hotbed for tempation.
I believe it is all due to the theme itself. The country and western theme of the hard working, tough-as-nails handsome cowboy and the sweet, sexy and playful cowgirl.
Each persona represents the epitome of masculine and feminine energy.
Calgary is known for it's strong corporate culture. Many of the women in this town are empowered, strong and have to be in their masculine a great deal of the time in order to be effective in their work.
Stampede comes around each year and gives women a chance to truly be in thier feminine and put on the daisy-dukes (short denim shorts), denim mini skirts and busty sun dresses to become the sexy cowgirl.
Add to that, the men get to amp up thier masculine energy by taking on the sexy swagger of the cowboy. Yes there is more denim, plaid, and buckles in Calgary than anywhere else on earth during Stampede. There's a vibe that the cowboy hat gives (some) men that can't be denied.
Let's be real though, just because someone puts on a costume does not instantly change thier attractiveness. However, if you are already have an attractive vibe and you bring on the cowboy/cowgirl persona...Damn! It is hard to resist!
So now you have the masculine and feminine energy out in full display. Add alcohol, great music and a huge party atmosphere...Oh it's on!
I want to cut The Calgary Stampede some slack because affairs can happen any where any time the relationship is not on a solid footing. Typically it is because he's too far in his feminine energy and she's too far in her masculine energy and the imbalance is causing all kinds of challenges.
Simply put, The Stampede amps up the masculine energy in men and the feminine energy in women.
There are a lot of corporate parties and functions where the spouses end up going with colleagues and friends rather than their partner. Not always a good stategy for harmony.
Imagine for a moment we have a married couple. Let's call them Bob and Sarah. Things have not been going well in the relationship for some time. The push-pull sexual tension needed for a great relationship has been gone for months. Communication is cordial at best, and they are just maintaining the illusion of a good relationship.
Bob has been quiet, withdrawn and a shadow of his former self and does not know how to get it back. Sarah is climbing the walls trying to make things happen. She's on him constantly for the things he's not doing. She takes her masculine energy of her work into the relationship and can't stand it. The kids? As teens they own Dad and have lost repect for him. They go to Sarah for pretty much everything.
Now Sarah's out at a Stampede party with her colleagues after work. She's got that amazing sun dress on that shows off her lovely curves. Bob hasn't complimented her in ages. In fact, he was very demeaning when she asked him how it looked on her earlier that morning.
Bob is sporting his dated conservative cowboy duds that he's worn every year for the past ten Stampedes. It almost looks silly on him as he just does not "own" the look. Bob too has a corporate function after work.
Sarah is having a blast with her friends, clients and colleagues. Her best friend, notices a very handsome smouldering cowboy (he owns it) checking out Sarah.
Her friend says, "Hey, see that guy over at that bar...he's totally checking you out!"
Sarah looks over her friend's shoulder only to catch the guy in the act and they make eye contact!
Sarah's heart skips a beat. She breathes deep and can feel the attraction instantly.
Before she realize what she's done, she's flashed a smile, preened her hair and adjusted her dress. All in an unconscious attempt at signaling her interest.
He begins to approach. She has not felt this feeling of desire in a very long time!
His energy is all masculine. As he engages Sarah in playful banter he's confident, funny and oh so charming.
Her friends are mouthing "OMG" behind his back as he talks to Sarah. Her friends know all about Bob...but rather than be her conscience and get her to dial it down...they encourge her with flirtatious teasing glances at his well fitted Wranglers with approval.
They dance, he buys the table a couple of rounds and introduces his buddies to his new friends. Yeah he's the alpha in the group and Sarah can't believe how strong her desire is for him! She's flirting shamelessly and loving every minute of it.
For the first time in ages she feels like a woman. The masculine/feminine energy within her is finally in the right place.
Meanwhile, let's check on Bob. He too is out with his buddies. He's been drinking heavily since mid afternoon at a corporate function that one of his client's put on.
His colleagues don't know much about Bob's personal life but they know he's not as out going as he use to be and he's got a pretty sexy wife.
Today he's escaping his private hell. Bob and his buddies just stand around learing at the pretty women. Bob's not really trying but he's seeking a little validation that he's still a man. However, none of the women really notice him. His energy is low, desperate and even a bit creepy. He's so not in his masculine energy in spite of the boots, hat and company denim shirt with the logo embroidered on it. (Sexy)
I have put Sarah and Bob in these scenarios because this is the truth in many relationships today. Remove the Stampede environment and you find many women everywhere feeling that they spend too much in their masculine energy.
Men (whether they know it or not) are too far in their feminine energy. This is creating a no-win relationship dynamic.
Women need the masculine energy in men to be stronger than hers so she can be in her feminine energy where she longs to be.
Guys, don't be like Bob. Your number-one task in your relationship is to help her be in her feminine energy.
Don't look at this advice as pandering to women. This is the truth! You have to be the guy to dig in, suck it up and be a man in the relationship.
Just like Sarah's new charming cowboy friend...it took very little effort on his part to help her get into her feminine.
I'm not saying Sarah acted on her desires, but for a moment in time she was totally where she longed to be.
Could Bob be that guy? Perhaps, but Bob needs to work hard on himself and find his mojo again and sense of self worth. This is the kind of work I do for men. It's a journey to reclaim a man's masculine energy but sadly few men are willing to do the work necessary for change.
Too often pride, ego and stubborness gets in the way and the relationship suffers for it. They don't know where to turn.
However, for the men that dig in and step up to play a bigger game the rewards are truly amazing!
If you honestly understood how the feminine energy works, you'd be chomping at the bit to take action on this.
You see, if you help her transition from her masculine energy into her feminine energy with your authentic masculine power...you will get tenfold in return!
The feminine energy is very giving, nurturing, sexy and vivacious. If you help her get there...you will have your cake and eat it too! She will become your dream girl, your goddess and the sexy vixen of your fantasies.
The Calgary Stampede may have a reputation for questionable morals but really it's just a microcosm of what's happening in relationships everywhere.
There's always going to be a hot "cowboy" out there checking out your girl. However, it should never be an issue because her feminine cup is full by YOU her masculine man. You have also set strong values and boundaries you both honour and respect.
You do not need a western theme to make things sexy. Think of the boots, hat and demim of the Calgary Stampede as a metephore to amp up your authentic masculine power.
In truth, every women just needs you to once in awhile...
Remember, You are not alone on the journey...I've got your back!
The Coach For Men
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