Five Keys To Blast Through Resistance
Imagine if you will that you are three days into a nasty cold. You can't breathe, you're coughing up a lung and you've gone through a gallon of nasal spray. Yeah, you've got a "Man Cold"(Cue the violins).
However, as you are stuck in bed you have to call your prospects and clients that you will not be able to meet with them or move the projects forward until you feel better. Hey it sounds pretty reasonable right? I mean you are doing the right thing and not doing the contagion thing everywhere!
However, as you are languishing in bed with your sickly self, a prospect decides to go with another provider, your buddy gives the game tickets to another friend and your girl is getting tired of listening to your whining and can't stand the "little boy" you've become.
What if the cold was actually a manifestation of your resistance to moving forward powerfully?
What if you being sick is part of an internal program that self sabotages your progress?
Here's another point to ponder: What if there were a number of paths you were to take in order for you to grow, but you deep-sixed your chances for success by manifesting this damn cold?
The client was ready to close, your ticket at the game had you sitting next to the president of the company you've been courting for months and your girl has been looking for that one last thing that tells her it's time to leave your sorry ass.
Resistance to change, growth and all you desire is why you are still where you are at. Resistance manifests in many forms: Illness, procrastination, laziness, over thinking, fear, perfectionism and obesity are a few. The big three can round out the list, sex, drugs and alcohol are also big manifestations of resistance.
Whatever you can do to avoid creating your dreams will show up in a convenient form of resistance that you can justify. It's like gravity...it's everywhere! It's there to slow you down and to make you feel the end result of a nasty fall.
So let's get real right now. Take an inventory of all the ways resistance shows up in your life. Do you get sick a lot? Do you have health issues (dis-ease)? Not enough money? Not enough time? Do you have any addictions the rear up when you are ready to play big?
Each one of these areas of resistance is a story that you hang on to. A story that gives you all the ammo you need to fight off any chance of moving forward.
In his amazing book, "The War Of Art" Steven Pressfield talks about how "Resistance" is the biggest obstacle for everyone attempting to bring out the artist within. The "Art" in this case is your talent. That one thing you were put on this earth to do.
The truth is, most people are scared to death of the artist within.
As well, we live in a society where our pop culture is designed to mute any attempt at you finding your greatness. The system wants to lull you back to sleep and continue to be a drone — a good, obedient worker and consumer.
So how can you ditch resistance and powerfully take on the artist, dreamer and achiever within? Here are Five Keys To Blast Through Resistance:
1) Identify What You Are Resisting - Having a clear understanding as to what you are resisting is the first step. What are those things that scare you yet you know you feel in your heart you must do?
Does the thought of writing that book, doing your back taxes or asking that "Ten" you've been lusting after from afar scare you to death? What about learning to paint or better yet marketing your paintings? How about leaving that long-suffering unfulfilling relationship?
You know all the areas of your life you need to change. So right a list so you can see it right in front of you and see it in black and white.
2) Define The Story Behind Your Coping Mechanism-You know you have a story around all the reasons you show up the way you do. So lay them all out on the line. Your stories are your excuses and justifiers.
These are the stories you have relied on to cope with the reality that you are being keep you small and in limitation. Yes, you use your addictions to prevent you from being present, from falling in love, from working hard.
Yeah you have a whole lot of them at the ready. So dig deep into the source of the story. When did you first buy into them? Why do you allow the stories to create the resistance to change?
Oh I know your stories are real! Oh yeah, you have got your sob story for self destruction so believable it's at the cellular level.
I call Bullshit!
Every one of your Bullshit stories that you say are real and justifiable have been overcome by people on fire!
They have all gone down the same road as you and have turned their life around by getting rid of the very same story you continue to hold on to!
3) Get Over Your Fear Of Rejection - I recently had the pleasure of seeing my mentor Brendon Burchard speak at an event. He had a great take on rejection. He asked, 'Think about all the people in the course of your life that had done you wrong, rejected you and made you feel like shit.' (Yes I am paraphrasing) How many people can you come up with that truly hurt you and pissed in your corn flakes? (Man, that's a terrible visual and I'm really paraphrasing).
The reality is that most people can only come up with about 5-7 people that really impacted them negatively.
Yet we will encounter thousands of people throughout our lives — people that have the potential to enrich our world, help us grow and bring new and fulfilling experiences forward.
Even with all these amazing people that walk in and out of your life daily, you'll allow 5-7 people to deep-six your self-esteem and self-worth! Crazy isn't it?
I allowed rejection to impact me on so many levels, so much so that it would paralyze me. So many wasted years!
It's all an illusion. I challenge you to go out and get rejected! That's right go and attempt what scares you! Go talk to strangers! Make the calls to the prospect or the dream girl with the idea that those people of your past have no hold on you whats so ever! You are free! Large and in charge of your life!
4) Persist Against What You Resist - We have grown up knowing full well that what you resists persists. The drama, story and pain will never go away if you do not deal with it.
The solution is to have a relentless determination to blast through the walls of your resistance. You have to take it on! You do not have a choice if you truly want to be free in your life.
Pick one area where you have a huge amount of resistance in. Pick the one area that you know if you became its master you'd have incredible freedom and peace of mind. Now make the mastery of it your all-consuming obsession.
Learn all you can about why you resist it. What's behind it? Go deep into meditation or learn about regression therapy to find the root of why and when the neurosis around your resistance first surfaced. Finally, How are people just like you mastering it and living the life you desire? Then model them.
5) It's Time To Play A Bigger Game - Your resistance can in fact be your biggest teacher. Where ever your resistance is, know that it is the exact direction for your greatest growth and up-liftment to occur.
Resistance can show you were you are playing small and dimming your light. In truth it is not the rejection, disappointment and negative outcomes that we fear. It is actually your brilliance, your greatness and your true power that you fear.
This passage sums it up perfectly:
"...Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
It is incumbent upon you to dig in to your resistance in this life-time. This is why you are on this journey in the first place. You are here to find your gifts, talents and unique offering to the world.
Embrace the path you are on. Make the choice to see resistance as your teacher. Know where ever it exist on the other side of it is your freedom!
You are here to boldly move forward as the awake, aware and purpose-driven man this world needs!
Play the game of life burning brightly from your authentic masculine power and being the champion, hero and brother this world needs.
Remember, You are not alone on the journey...I've got your back!
Have the best day!
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