As a man, you have experienced them most of your adult life. You have most likely passed a few, but sadly you have probably failed more times than you'll ever admit to your crew.
It's the stuff of lore layered thick on the hallowed halls of yacht clubs to the sports bars and pubs around the world.
They spawn countless empty glasses, knowing nods of "I hear you Bro." and comforting pats on the back as men have lamented for eons about how confounded, confused and frustrated they are by them.
We're talking about the stealthy, clever and seemingly diabolical...Yes the dreaded "Shit Test".
You know...the tests women give to men to see if he's worthy of her affections, sex and sanity in the relationship or courting process.
Yes, the "Shit test". It's a real name for a very real outcome. It's a test to see if her man is full of BS or is going to stand up to her BS.
However, nothing breeds more flabbergasted energy or a feeling of a "No win" scenario in a man than that of her random tests.
Or are they? (cue record scratch)
What if the tests women gave men were actually more obvious and transparent than we were lead to believe?
What if it is our very own filters and conditioning that get in the way of us recognizing that a test is at hand in real time?
What if today's pop culture is impacting your success or failure rate with her tests?
We are indeed in rapidly changing times. We are in the age of the empowered woman so get use to the idea she's got her bar set higher than ever before for the men in her life.
Add to that that we are also in the age of the "wimpy man". Guys are dropping the ball when it comes to self development, personal growth and the awareness to learn about the women in his life on a deeper level.
I don't mean to dig into my brothers hard and imply you're a "wimpy man" in your life. However, statistacally there's good chance you are wimping out in your relationship on a regular basis. Hey! It's my job to know this stuff!
Too many men are accepting their fate too easily and throwing in the towel, surrendering to her tests way too soon!
Fail! Fail! Fail!
Our pop culture has lulled most men into believing that the "Happy wife...Happy life" line is a good maxim to follow. Well, that's BS because most men are going about it all wrong!
They've come to believe that in order to make her happy he has to become a "Yes" man.
"Yes dear...you pick the restaurant."
"Yes dear...what ever movie you want to watch is good with me."
"Yes dear...I'm staying home to be with you tonight."
I can hear the sound of the collective gag reflex coming from women around the world.
Nothing is more unmanly than a "Yes Man".
The truth is, her shit tests are about challenging your values and boundaries. She'll push your buttons and press you to see where your breaking point is and she sees the man you really are.
Yet, you'll filter it with a "WTF? Where'd that come from?"
Then you'll do what most men do...you'll try to "fix" it. You'll look for the practical and the logical in it because that's what we do. Only to exacerbate the situation.
Arg! (Cue arguments that never end or don't make sense at all)
How To Pass Her Shit Tests
In order to pass her tests, you have to know most are counter-intuitive to what you are thinking they are.
1) You have to get our of left brain thinking to know it's not about trying to fix something.
That's not the intent. The more you try and fix something or dig into trying to figure her out the more you sink into the quagmire of the trap that it is.
2) You have to understand why the tests happen in the first place. For some reason she's not feeling your masculine power. She's feeling like you are not solid in who you are as a man.
In spite of all the feminist rhetoric you have heard, women still want to feel secure, safe and protected in the presence of her man. She wants to shed her masculine energy and be feminine when she's with you. If she's constantly testing you...she's definitely not feeling it from you.
3) Stand in her fire! She needs to feel you are not going to cave. You may bend but you will not break. But be careful here. This is not where you become a dick and get all heartless about your stance. You are coming from a place of confidence and being self aware so she feels that she does not have to test in this area anymore.
4) Know your values and boundaries! Stop running on assumptions about each other. Talk about your values and boundaries up front. Let her know what turns you on, what makes you feel like a man and what your stance is on things that matter in your life. Get her to share hers. Until you know each other's owner's manual you'll be running on assumptions about what she likes, enjoys and turns her on and she'll be doing the same to you.
5) Be Decisive - Nothing is more manly and puts you in your masculine power than being decisive. She has to make decisions all the time. So many of her tests are about seeing how you will show up as a man and make a F'ing decision once in a while.
Make the date, get the sitter, make the reservation and request that she wears that sexy dress. Yeah that one. In fact, stand in your authentic masculine power and tell her this is what you want her to wear.
I want to share a possible scenario that gets played out in most relationships and how you can spot the shit test and how you can pass like a champion.
You're #1 task in your relationship is to help her move from her masculine energy into her feminine energy. You do this by deciding that you are going to amp up your authentic masculine power - Masculine power that is heart centred. Not the egoic masculine energy that creates conflict and douche-baggery.
So tell her that you are taking her out Friday night on a fantastic date and you are going to take her out at 7PM and you want her to wear that little dress that she looks so hot in.
Now cue the shit test — "There's no way we can go out Friday night!" We don't have a sitter and have you seen the garage? It's a mess! We can't afford it! There's no way in hell I am wearing that dress!" And on it goes.
Pop! There goes your great idea to "Man Up" and be a man of action!
Sadly, most men will fail this test. They'll turtle and succumb to the barrage of seemingly good reasons not to go out.
Then the man turns into a "Yes" man.
"Yes dear. Yeah you are right."
"Okay! Okay! I was just tying to do something nice for you!"
"You're always complaining I never take you out...so don't tell me I didn't try."
Then he wusses out and returns to his emasculated feminine energy and she's stuck in her masculine and the vibe just lingers and feels...well Yuck!
Fail! Fail! Fail!
In truth...does she want to go out?
Does she want to put that sexy dress on and feel all womanly and hot?
But she just doesn't feel the push/pull sexual tension with you.
Stand your ground lads!
Respond with a confident playfulness she can feel.
"Babe I get all that...I already have the sitter booked...the reservations are set and damn it girl you look so fine in that dress!"
I am not going to be able to contain myself through dinner. I'll have to brush up on my kung fu as I'll have to handle all the men checking you out!"
"Oh and another thing...it's not up for discussion."
"I don't care how much it costs...you're worth it!"
"Friday night my goddess is stepping out!"
Now smile that sexy confident smile and leave the room and go about your business.
Well done! You have passed her tests! In fact, you may not have to wait to Friday to experience the results.
You see the feminine energy is a very giving energy. When she's basking in her feminine energy she tends to give tenfold in return.
If men would understand this simple concept he would experience a way more smouldering, hot and passionate relationship.
I get that her arsenal of tests may be overwhelming to you. However, the more aware you are and the more you seek to understand her, the more you'll be able to handle them with class and confidence.
I know you may feel her tests are insane and come out of left field, but they are happening for a much more simple reason and purpose than you have been led to believe.
She's not trying to drive you up the wall. She's not trying to cause and argument out of thin air where there was once peace and tranquility.
She's trying to get you to know yourself.
As you do you begin to know her. She's begging you to own your power, purpose and passion. She's aching for you to step in the fire with her and claim your place in the relationship.
She's so desperate for a man to pass her tests and earn the right to her heart, for her to trust you with her animal desires and for the little girl within her to find safety and protection in your arms.
Be her champion...Be her Remarkable Man!
Remember, You are not alone on the journey...I've got your back!
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