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How Childhood Wounds Ruin Relationships

November 16, 2016

Written by Dwayne Klassen

 

 

Why do your romantic relationships always tend to end up the same way?

 

Why do you manifest partners that treat you the way they do?

 

A lot of our relational wounds stem from our parents and family dynamic as we grew up. Yes, those unconscious programs are often the root of why your relationships today end up the way they do.

 

One of the fastest ways to end the cycle is to heal the relationship with your parents and/or siblings. Whoa! (record scratch)Does the thought of that brings up all kinds of resistance?...If it does...That's good!!

 

On the other side of your fear is your freedom.

 

Here's the rub. Your familial relationships are actually easier to fix than you think. The reason is because unlike romantic relationships the foundation is unconditional love. We don't have a sexual energy agenda attached to it like we have with romantic love.

 

What we want and desire is just the love of our parents, brothers and sisters. At a deep core level we are seeking wholeness.

 

I know many of you have very deep wounds from a parent(s) or guardian, perhaps even a sibling, but unless you heal that relationship, it is very difficult to love another unconditionally.

 

Sure, some of you have fooled the world into believing you have broken free of your painful past and have created the ideal world full of love and deep connection whilst never having to heal the pain. How's that facade working for you?

 

What often happens is that you end up dragging poor souls into your drama as they become the surrogate for your love and to be the love you never got. Again with the unconscious agenda.

 

You have to let go of the little girl or little boy within and take on a mature posture and own how you feel. The deep wounds are locked in you at the age of maturity that it was founded. This is why you react like a little boy or a little girl when you are triggered by your significant other. Sure you are much bigger but the hurt and the way you react to it is still the same.

 

Yes, it takes a big person to reach out to heal a family torn apart by abuse and neglect. You have to be very solid in the fact that your love is so unconditional for them and for yourself that you would be okay if they did not reciprocate and heal with you. You can forgive and let go with love knowing you did your part. Perhaps one day awareness will help them to discover a new truth and they too will seek to understand and heal.

 

However, for many of you a lot of your wounds are from misunderstandings and misinterpretations of events that the child within didn't have the capacity to grasp fully. Self loathing, blame and not being good enough often stem from thinking that it's your fault for something you had no control over.

 

When you reach out to heal the familial wounds you might be very surprised at how the events actually shook out. That everyone is holding an energy that's not there's to hold and they've been carrying it unnecessarily for all these years.

 

When unconditional love is restored to the family, it does amazing things for the love of self. From this place you can truly be authentic with the love you give another.

 

There's less neediness, desperation or need for someone to validate you. There's no hidden agendas for your love. Plus, you can be a much greater parent and role model to your children because you have an authentic connection to your family and to who you truly are.

 

DwayneKlassen

#TheCoachForMen

 

This is a very difficult and pervasive issue for so many people, If you'd like to explore coaching around this please PM me.

 

#HealTheFamily #TheCoachForMen #UnconditionalLove #FaceYourFear #HiddenAgendas #Wounded #Relationships

DwayneKlassen

#TheCoachForMen

 

This is a very difficult and pervasive issue for so many people, If you'd like to explore coaching around this please PM me.

 

#HealTheFamily #TheCoachForMen #UnconditionalLove #FaceYourFear

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