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How Powerful Is The Boy Inside The Man?

November 21, 2017

Written by Dwayne Klassen

 

No matter how successful you may be, there comes a time when you'll question your abilities, doubt yourself and wonder if you really have it in you.

 

Yet on the surface most people would consider you to be a man of reasonable success. Your social circle and your colleagues consider you to be a guy that can handle himself very well and that you've got your sh*t together.

 

In truth, they've got it almost right because you had to be that guy to get to where you are today. 

 

The challenge is, you are dealing with a part of you that has never truly been addressed. There's a part of you that is calling out to you and you have either shunned him or imprisoned him.

 

I'm talking about the little boy inside the man.

 

Every man has him within. It's the part of you that has yet to heal what the little boy is hurting from.

 

So many power brokers of the world are wearing the mask of success to avoid looking at their past. A lot of guys are driven to success, wealth and glory to appease a part of themselves that they have never truly addressed.

 

Usually it is an unconscious program to say, "Hey Dad!" Or "Hey Mom!... I did make it!"

"I am worthy! Or "I am not like you!" and "Please be proud of me!"

 

Some men are driven because they bought into the idea that somehow his parent's split up or death was in some way his fault. So he's trying to make it right with a program that says,

"Please acknowledge that I matter and that I am not responsible for your divorce/death."

 

The boy inside the man did not get the love, connection or nurturing he needed at a time he needed it most. The real tragedy is that the program gets locked in at the age it was first experienced.

 

If a 5 year old boy is told by his drunken mom that he'll never be worthy of anyone's love but hers. That sticks at the maturity of a 5 year old boy. Later in life when the man is dating and things go sideways because he can't seem to figure out why he can't love a woman the way she needs him to, he reacts like a 5 year old boy. 

 

He's perplexed at his outbursts, anger and resentment and everything he attempts to do to change only brings more of it into his life.

 

The little boy within has never been healed.

 

These programs are running the show in virtually all men today.

 

You know it on some level and you can feel the truth in what I am saying.

 

So what can you do about it?

 

Self doubt, second guessing yourself and anxiety are ways that the little boy within is trying to communicate to you. To finally be heard. You just got really good at masking it and creating your identity as a man.

 

Listen, as a coach, I am all for crushing it in your business, your profession, your side hustle and your relationships in real time.

 

However, if you just stay on he surface where it is safe, you truly won't get to the root of why you F things up the way you do.

 

You've got to take some time to revisit moments in your young life when things were not so great. You've got to go into your past and see where the programs were first initiated.

 

In truth, many of your little boy programs are not true, they were formed with an interoperation of events through a filter of an immature mind.

 

Think about all the kids that grew up buying into the idea that their parent's divorce was their fault. Yet that's not even close to what really happened!

 

Children spend the rest of their lives trying to heal the pain and trauma of an unconscious program that never goes away. Yet it drives them in how they show up.

 

For a moment, go back and really feel those painful moments and ask yourself...are they true or was it the mind of a 6 year old or 12 year old that interpreted it to be this way?

 

Obviously if physical violence, mental or physical abuse was a part of your past, that's going to have a powerful impact and a very telling truth that needs very little interpretation.

 

However, the little boy within still needs to be loved, comforted and nurtured...healed.

 

In my coaching practice I assist clients to go on a journey of self discovery to assist men in identifying the boy inside the man. 

 

Through a meditative process your present self and your young self meet for the first time. 

 

You just stay present and listen to the little boy like he's never been listened to before.

You let him express his pain, his suffering, his loneliness, his guilt, his shame and his fears. 

 

The union of the two selves inevitably brings up powerful emotions, long dormant memories and feelings.

 

Once the purging of the boy within is done...He is now able to receive the love, compassion and praise he's longed for from you...your present self all your life.

 

Now the little boy within is empowered. Empowered to leave or to guide you.

 

There's no more stories. There's no more mystery to your short comings.

 

And the most powerful component to healing the boy inside the man is that your now unencumbered by stories and dramas that no longer serve you.

 

I challenge you to have the courage to dig in to whatever processes or modalities you can find that will help you to heal the parts of you that you are ignoring.

 

It's the most amazing and liberating work I have ever done for myself.

 

When you do you'll become present to the man you are now and the Remarkable Man you wish to become!

 

Remember, You are not alone on the journey...I've got your back!

 

Dwayne Klassen

#TheCoachForMen

 

If you found value in this post...Please Like, share and comment on it. I'd love to hear from you.  

 

If you'd like to have a powerful conversation about where you'd like your next breakthrough...contact me today and let's explore your coaching options.

 

 

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