The Elephant In The Room
The Elephant In The Room. A Must Read For Men.
How often have you felt out of sorts, not yourself and just unable to truly connect with your woman?
Do you argue with her about shit that just keeps piling up? Does it feel like the "Make up" moments are just desperate truces for a bit of peace before the next round?
For most men in this situation I am going to blow your hair back (if you still have it) about a reality you might be blind to seeing but you feel its truth.
I too fell into behaviour patterns in relationships that were bull-headed, frustrating and childish. Never figuring out the answers she was looking for or being able to solve the seemingly dastardly riddle that women seem to be for so many men.
In truth, the reason you feel disconnected, unable to get away from the constant nagging, or feel your masculine power around her is tanking is simple:
It's not about the thing you think it is about.
Read that again.
That's why you cannot fix or solve it like most guys try to do.
The real reason you both butt heads is because of misplaced energies.
You are often too far in your feminine energy and you can't stand it. She's too far in her masculine energy and she can't stand it. On top of that, you don't even know it because you don't have a language for it.
Instead, you fight about what you do know or what's familiar. The bills, the chores, the messy garage, your side of the family and so on. In the process you cut each other down to the core from these places.
Think about how manly you feel after a big blow up.
Not very I'll bet.
Have you ever asked or been asked, "What's wrong honey?"
And the answer was just not forth coming?
"I don't know."
You or she know something is off but you can't put it into words.
To truly have a nurturing, loving and intimate relationship you have to be cognizant of and know your masculine and feminine frequencies at all times.
Yes! Men you are more in your feminine than you can imagine.
This does not mean you are switching sides any time soon so get that out of your head. Feminine energy in men is always present. It shows up when you are nurturing, communicating, compassionate, giving and open hearted.
All good traits for sure!
However, when feminine energy dominates your masculine energy is when things can go sideways.
And she can feel it!
You are too indecisive, people pleasing, pacifying, going quiet, projecting and doing the passive-aggressive/resentment dance you always do.
Now she has to amp up her masculine to compensate. Can you see the slippery slope developing?
Now she seems even more demanding and controlling and you think it's natural to pacify, weather the storm and calm the waters. You become nicer and nicer thinking this is what she wants, but in her mind you have just become her little bitch. You are now toxic to her. A little boy!
Does she want to have sex with this little wimpy man-child?
Once a woman puts her man in this category? Yeah good luck Brother with getting any sex and intimacy. It will be utilitarian at best and you'll feel the emptiness of it.
It is only when you can prove that you are the man fully present in your authentic masculine that she will shift and change her stance and opinion of you.
Don't wait for her to fix things! She can't fix you!!
"Hold up! Why do guys have to take all the heat here! She's just as much to blame as I am!"
That's a good point.
Brothers I am not here to throw you under the bus.
I'm here to share the truth.
She has been doing a lot to fix things but in most cases we men are often too blind, deaf and dumb to notice them.
She can point you in he right direction, recommend a course, book, coach or seminar but sadly she knows you are a man and way too proud to admit you can't fix yourself on your own.
She's tired of giving you hints and suggestions on how to show up for her. Most men just don't hear or understand her needs.
But it can't come from her!!
Your number one mission in your relationship is to help her move from her masculine to her feminine. It's your job! Not hers!
It has to come from you first!
She longs to be sexy, vivacious and your little vixen. But that is a sacred place reserved only for the man that makes her feel safe, secure, respected, loved, vulnerable and capable of truly letting herself surrender.
Be first brothers...Own your authentic masculine power and she will give tenfold in return. It is just how the feminine is wired.
Know this, earn your place, make it your all consuming purpose to learn this and you will indeed become the champion to your woman. A Remarkable Man that you want to become and the man she desires you to be.
You've got this!
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Remember, you are not alone on the journey...I've got your back!