I had the pleasure of speaking at a women's group a couple weeks ago. The women that attended would be considered to be successful, empowered and awake.
I also thought there might be a bit of a feminist stance as well.
The women were really open and receptive to my talk.
In fact, I had a few in tears.
I give both women and men the truth about what's happening in the live's of men behind the masks.
In a lot of ways I help women to see her man with new eyes for the first time.
What came up in conversation afterward was not surprising.
Most of the women are at their wits end about how to get their husband/boyfriend/life-mate to own his emotions. To step up and do some real work on himself and the relationship.
Most men want to learn, grow and understand their behaviours that F'up his relationships. He truly does want to have a better relationship and mend the living hell he's feeling too!
Yes, he says he'll take steps to change. We're good at that!
Sadly, for most men that's just verbiage to tell her what she wants to hear so that a modicum of peace is preserved. It also sounds good in his own mind. It's like telling people all your big goals and big moves you are going to make and never quite make them happen.
The truth is, most men are addicted to the chaos and the emotional state they find themselves in. So addicted in fact that most men will watch their relationship burn down before he does any real inner work and/or reaches out for help.
It's just how most men are wired and it perplexes the hell out of women.
They just don't get why their man is not taking action on something so vitally important.
Your relationship experience is unique to you. If it's fantastic, that's awesome! Just make sure that your assumptions are correct.
Your #1 task is to take her fears, worries and concerns away. You are to help her get free of the masculine energy she has to hang on to. You are to help move her into her feminine energy where she longs to be...and you can only do this if you reclaim your authentic masculine power.
Here are a few keys to remember to help you step into your authentic masculine power and take back your relationship:
1) Take 100% Responsibility For Your Past, Present & Future - Do not blame, project or accuse her/him for the way you feel. That's your stuff. That's already inside you. Sure, she can be a trigger (and damn good at it) to bring it out, but it is still all you! Own it!
2) Understand How The Masculine/Feminine Energy Is Showing Up In You - This is about having a new awareness about how these energies are running the show. How in most cases you both are in the wrong frequency to serve the relationship effectively.
3) Create A Blueprint For Understanding One Another’s Values & Boundaries - Most couples have no clue about their partner's "operating manual". Most run on assumptions about what their partner truly likes and is all about. Get to know yourself then take the time to share that with her. Then get to know her on a whole 'notha level.
4) Recognize your habitual relational programs - How you show up in relationships is not new. This is your default programs you inherited from your parents or guardians. All your wounds, blocks and patterns are in need of unpacking if you truly wanting to serve yourself and your relationship at a higher level.
5) Self Love comes First - The hardest work most men will ever do is to truly love themselves first. Saying "I love you." in the mirror is as foreign, silly and uncomfortable as a guy can get! It often evokes a lot of shame, guilt and pain. They can't even look their reflection in the eyes and say it. He's the last guy that deserves that kind of unconditional love. But know this; there's not a chance in hell for you to have an authentic loving relationship without that kind of love within you. It can't work because her love has to fill your cup first before you have enough love spilling over to share with her.
You can't come into any relationship 50/50! It has to be 100/100!
I want you to have your cake and eat it too!
I want you to be happy and feeling like the remarkable man you deserve to be.
It takes a ton of courage and trust to embark on the path of loving yourself and doing the work to rise to the next level of awareness. It's hard and it's messy. But it's worth it! You're worth it!
Your beloved aches for you to love yourself as much as she loves you. She does not want it to end.
She wants her champion back, but she can't force you to want it. It has to come from you.
You've got this!
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If you'd like to have a powerful conversation around where you need a breakthrough...Contact me or click this link and we'll set it up.
I look forward to talking with you soon!